For our first testimonial, I had the honor to connect with a friend, and knowing her story, asked her to write it out so that I could share it with you all. The intention is for her to share how she has come into her faith, and I hope that at least, some of her message resonates with you. Below is her testimony:
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“Selfish. Prideful. Insecure. Lonely. Guarded.
That was the core of who I was on the inside.
On the outside, though, it looked very different:
“She knows what she wants.”
“She’s confident.”
“She always has nice outfits.”
“She’s likable.”
“She’s mysterious.”
Both were true at the same time. Yes, I was all of those things. But underneath it all, I was rooted in me, myself, and I. I was living for myself. Selfish sin, as I now know it.
Nothing could stop me from pursuing what I wanted, when I wanted it.
Except maybe love.
Or, more accurately, the feeling of being loved. Of being chosen. Of being wanted. I was stopped in my tracks the moment I pursued “love” or rather, the moment “love” pursued me.
I definitely wasn’t looking for it.
I was 20 years old, working at a trendy sushi restaurant right in the heart of Hollywood on Sunset Boulevard. I was serving Hollywood’s elite actors, writers, producers, executives, and everyone in between. It was the perfect job for the TV production college student I was.
And then one day, I started my shift, and there he was.
The new guy.
He started pursuing me almost immediately. He’d ask my coworkers who I was, what I was about, and would always find a reason to ask if he could help me with something. I always said no. I barely paid him any attention.
Until one day, I looked at him differently.
And I fell for him.
Long story short, that new guy became my boyfriend of six years.
But somewhere along the way, the feeling of love faded, and reality started to set in. I began asking myself questions I didn’t want to answer:
What the heck am I doing?
Where are we headed?
What are we?
Is marriage next?
The truth was, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to marry him.
That year was hard.
Not only had my heart grown calloused in the relationship, but I also found out that he was struggling with P****graphy.
No way was I going to stay in this relationship. It hurt me deeply. I started comparing myself to the Instagram models he was looking at. I questioned my worth.
It broke me.
For the first time in my life, I felt like I had lost control of everything.
I was crying day and night, wondering:
How did I get here?
Why am I letting someone else dictate how I see myself?
How did I become this version of me?
What’s my way out?
For the next seven or eight months, there were endless conversations and broken promises that he would change.
But he didn’t.
And he couldn’t.
Because how can someone truly change without a change of heart?
Then one evening, I was alone in my living room, completely broken, and I cried out to God. The God I knew of and had heard about growing up.
I asked Him to save me.
To take away my misery.
To show me a way out.
I surrendered what I could.
And I reached a place where I no longer had control. But, if I’m being honest, I never had control to begin with.
Only a fool believes they have control.
I prayed and prayed, and the answer became increasingly clear:
I had to walk away from this relationship.
But that wasn’t easy.
At this point, we lived together.
Then, by the grace of God, something unexpected happened.
One day, he (my boyfriend) cracked open the Bible.
I scoffed.
I didn’t believe he was actually reading it.
But that moment became the beginning of true surrender.
As we continued reading, we began learning about a God who loved us so much that He sent His Son to die on the cross for our sins. A God who promised that whoever believes in Him would have an everlasting life.
And for the first time, we realized:
We wanted that.
We needed that.
We needed a fresh start.
The more we read, the more convicted we became about the way we were living – living together, sleeping together, and building a relationship without God at the center of it. I knew I was at a crossroads.
I had to choose.
This relationship…
or a relationship with God.
And in my immaturity, I told God, “If he doesn’t change by the end of the year, I’m Yours.”
Not exactly what you want to be telling God.
I was young. I was naive. I wasn’t strong in my walk with the Lord yet.
Then the last day of the year came.
And my boyfriend proposed.
But something had changed.
By that point, I had seen change in him. We were pursuing God together. We were surrendering more of ourselves as time went on.
And I said yes.
Yes to marrying him.
Looking back, I can see that this wasn’t the perfect or ideal way the Lord would have drawn us closer to Him.
But God is sovereign.
He is able to use even our mistakes, our brokenness, and our mess when our hearts are open to becoming more like Him.
And somewhere in all of the crying, praying, questioning, and surrendering, the Lord taught me something I desperately needed to learn:
A significant other could never give me what only Jesus could.
I wanted to be chosen.
And I was already chosen by Jesus.
I wanted to be loved.
And I had always been loved by Jesus.
I wanted someone to make me feel secure.
But true security could only be found in Him.
I had spent much of my life looking for love in another person, only to discover that the love I was truly longing for had been pursuing me all along.
Jesus.
A true, unfailing love.
He was all I ever needed.
And now, in Christ, the core of who I am is different:
Generous. Humble. Secure. Loved. Confident.
Not because I became better on my own.
Not because I finally figured life out.
But because of my living God.
And all of it is for His glory.
I was stopped in my tracks the moment I pursued “love” or rather, the moment Love pursued me.
I definitely wasn’t looking for Him. But I am forever grateful that Jesus found me.”
-written and shared to us by my friend, LT
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I thank my friend for sharing her story, because it relates to a lot of us. We all experience tribulations with life, but when we ask God to help us, we are often blown away by the revival he displays in our life.
Let us know what you think of this testimony!!
Young Adult Faith 
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