24 hours. That is how long the map says I have from my starting point of Minneapolis, MN, to my destination, Los Angeles. I wish I could say that I dreamt of this moment my whole life, or that I could always picture myself moving here. But the truth is, the decision to pack up and head west was one that came just a couple months before. The reason? Why not.

MAKING THE DECISION

You know when you have lived in a place for practically your whole life? You drive around the same places, you run into the same people, and you get to a point where you feel like you are trying to grow and develop into this new, young, version of yourself, but the walls of your environment start to feel suffocating. No matter how amazing it is, at a certain point, it stopped challenging me. The surprises stopped, and I plateaued once I became too comfortable. I understand the idea that it is important to be close with family, and that community is everything. But at the same time, I knew that I would always have my family, and that they would support me wherever I went. I also knew that it was time for a change, and time to build a new community – one that gave me more room to grow, evolve, and continue the challenge. Have you heard of the saying ‘the world is your oyster’, and that ‘life is what you make of it’? I have spent enough time wishing for a new beginning, so I decided to create one. I wanted to move to a city so big, I could be anyone. I can exist among a million storylines, and be invisible until I decide not to be. If I did not know exactly the kind of place that I wanted to move to, then I would go somewhere that had it all.

WORRY

The decision to move, and the planning behind it, is always the scariest. One thing that this little life has taught me is that our brains have quite the imagination – sometimes for worse than for better. I guess it is normal to worry about all the things that can go wrong, humans are not as adaptive to change as we might think. Although I knew this is what I wanted, of course I couldn’t help but worry about all the possible worst case scenarios. What happens if my car breaks down? How will I meet people? What if I hate it? How do I know I am moving to a safe place? What if I get homesick? These are just a few of the many questions that your mind can spur up for you at any moment. To be fair, I do not think there is any way to completely prevent these thoughts. I mean your brain thinks about them for a reason. It is a safeguard, a protection piece, an insurance policy. After all, even your inner mind understands the fact that you need to be prepared. So what did I do? I turned it into my superpower. I made sure that all the logistics were taken care of – living, source of income, and transportation. The rest? Well that is the fun part. I would figure it out as I went – by trusting God, and myself. In times of uncertainty, it is important to remember the faith you have in yourself to know that you are able to solve your own problems, and create your own solutions. But at times it feels scary to do it alone? Remember that God is your passenger – forever and always.

ROMANTICISM

The day has come. My car is packed to the brim, my old apartment is empty, and my landlord is surprisingly sad to see me go as I hand her my keys. It is a dark and rainy day outside as I embark (that weather being one of the many reasons why I needed to move). Inside the car, it was filled with excitement and sunshine. I was so proud of myself for doing this, because I knew that it was going to pay off. I started to romanticize my life there. I started imagining how I would decorate my apartment, the friends I would meet, and even the hobbies that I would pick up. I pictured myself all dressed up at a dinner with the future girlfriends I would make, or the TikTok’s that are going to be created in the bathroom while getting ready for a night out. With nothing but the open road and the promise of new beginnings, I truly romanticized every aspect of my decision. In my opinion, this truly is the best part. When you are in the midst of acting on your decision, but reality has not come to pop your romantic bubble and you’re free to dream all the dreams, and think every thought. The freedom to imagine the life we want as if that is all it takes.

DISCOVERING MYSELF

I am not going to lie, the first few months were tough. Upon getting to this city, I quickly got to working on the things that I could control. I spent my time away from work building my furniture, putting up my art, and decorating my space to truly make me feel at home. Because home is where I work, sleep, eat, and honestly live, I knew it was worth every expense to make this place become exactly the way that I wanted it to. The coming months in Los Angeles were slow. I spent weeks logging off after work and just existing by myself. I perused malls, checked out various coffee shops, drove to different neighborhoods, read in all kinds of parks, and walked so many miles. I was spending so much time by myself, and it is true to what they say – you really need to become your own best friend. Since I was spending so much time alone, all I ever did was exist in my own head. I learned so much about myself. I learned about the kind of activities that I enjoy, I tried new hobbies that I discovered brought me a sense of fulfillment, I started listening to podcasts, and creating goals for myself to ensure that I was always growing in a positive way. All the time that I was spending with my own identity, it made me all too comfortable in my own existence, but it also made me incredibly lonely.

LONELINESS

Have you ever felt true loneliness? I guess that question is a semi-loaded one. You can feel lonely because you miss your family – even though you are surrounded by friends. You can feel lonely because you are lacking that romantic connection in a pool of platonic ones, and you can feel lonely because you are now living in a city where not one person knows you exist in it – that is the kind of loneliness that was affecting me. No amount of trips to the grocery store, reading in random coffee shops, or spending money at the same mall every weekend was going to fulfill my desire for connection. A desire to laugh, talk, debate, and share with a group of young women who are all in the same place as me. But desiring that connection was not going to be enough, I had to take action. I started to research ways of making friendships, and building connections.

MAKING FRIENDS IN A NEW CITY

How was I going to meet people? How was I going to get connected? In making my decision to move to this city, I knew I wanted to prioritize anonymity. But in that decision, it means I have to work that much harder at putting myself out there – initiating conversation, and being open to rejection. You know what no one tells you? No one tells you that finding good friends is like trying to find love. I wanted to become friends with people whom, of course, I was morally compatible with. I also really wanted to make the kind of friendships where we love to do the same things, have the same hobbies, but are open to trying new things together – whether it is a cheap comedy show I found on Eventbrite, or a fun cooking class on a random Wednesday. I also really wanted to make friends with people who want the same thing out of life as I do – they are ambitious and have dreams of their own, they value family, etc. I knew that I wanted to make friendships with like minded individuals that would make me want to be a better person, and have me strive to always want to grow in a positive direction (see, it literally is like dating). But the question became… how?

Well in the land of social media, and the internet, I realized that it could be easier than ever to make friends. But there was one problem… I do not have social media, and other than this blog – I do not exist on the internet. People always give me a side eye when I say that, but it is true. I might have the old Facebook account that lets distant aunt and uncles that I have never met before know that I am still alive, but I do not have any of the ones that could help me make friends. I used to, of course, as I am a firm believer you have to try something to know it does not work for you. but after giving it a shot – I learned that it does not. So I had to scope out friendships another way.

I looked into organizations, women’s groups, volunteer opportunities, etc. It was not until speaking with my manager that she recommended me to Junior League. When she told me about it I looked at her stunned. I had never heard of something like that, and I felt like I was doing a fair amount of research. She told me how it is this 100 year old, all female organization that focuses on philanthropy and community outreach, Professional development, and social connections. Heck! I was so quick to look into one, and I could not wait for it to get started. As I am writing this right now, I have successfully been to two meetings. It is still summer and because it really kicks off in the fall, I still have a few weeks. I am excited though because I have already met so many amazing women, and I can not wait for what my new member year will bring (and of course I will keep sharing with you along the way).

The final thing that I really want to do to get connected here – is find a good church. Finding a church is hard. I have already tried a few, but I am picky. It is important to me that I find a church with a young adult group, because I want to get connected with people who are in the same place in life as me. It is also important that Sunday Service is told in a way where the preacher does a really good job of talking WITH you about God, not AT you. I do not want to be lectured, I want to feel understood. I want a preacher who can look at us the way that we are, level with us about the realities we face, and work to boast us high in a way that feels empowering – not discouraging. I have gone to this one church in the valley, and I think I really like it. I have only been once though but I look forward to going back.

CONCLUSION

That is it – that is the update on my last few months since I came to this city. I am optimistic about the possibilities that this city is going to give me, and I am even happier that I am building this community to share it with. Stick around – I look forward to what comes next.